Evan Shang

New Environment, New Expectations

UTS

Here, it is still dark when I wake up in the morning,

Feels literally like only moments have gone by after sleeping,

Never thought school could be so tiring,

Not aware of the weight I would be carrying,

Shrinking, as I carry boulders of expectation on my shoulders.

Or the stress I would be bearing, just hoping

Hoping, I would soon be adapting to this new surrounding called UTS.

Can’t believe time has gone by so fast

Yesterday, I had finished with China

Learning the language, the culture, and structuring my circle of friends.

Feeling now that I’ve been magically zoomed through space and time,

Brought to this place aid more stress and more work.

UTS, new school, new demands, and new expectation.

Extended hours, over-stacked courses, and the burden of ,

Handing in an assignment and not knowing how well I will do.

Being accepted, I acknowledged the fact that I must settle in once again.

Taking more than an hour by bus to arrive at school

Hoping to study a few more pages

I sit there reading. But…

The weight on my eyes strives to get the better of me.

Internalizing impossible Spanish words has made my body grown weary, trying to improve.

Losing track of time and doze off and then…

Suddenly I hear an ear-bleeding screech from the tracks of steel below,

 

Noticing that the surrounding was unfamiliar and nothing was similar

 

When the bell rung and yelled in to my ears. I was like “Where the hell am I”

Glancing at the words on the wall and I was at Keele?

 

Shooting straight up, like an arrow released from the bow,

 

Flying through the sliver of space as the doors were shutting.

Longer hours, over-stacked courses, UTS expects more

However, being Chinese means I have a Tiger mother pushing and pushing.

Sensing deep into her mind that studying is the only way.

Sometimes I get fed up, so I start roaring like a dinosaur.

Hard for me, hard for others, pressure and stress invades everywhere.

Seeing fellow peers do so well and excel way above me.

Listening to people telling me that even a 97 wasn’t even enough,

Because their parents only believe in the even score 100.

Putting more stress on me.

Setting an expectation bar, trying to catch up.

Trying to shoot for the stars with no rests, but then…

Realizing I was unable to even touch the sky

Trying hard, I did push myself to the limit, and eventually I did become sleep deprived.

But it was no use, I couldn’t manage.

Screaming silences makes me yawn, but I know that I need to finish studying

Feeling awkwardly awesome, after completing my work,

Lying down on my side,

Hoping it will get better, hoping that those sleepless nights will be worth it in the end and also hoping for less homework.

Adapting I must do, I’ve done it once before and I shall do it again.

But before I go, I just want to say… don’t

Don’t be overpowered by pressure, stress, and the expectations of parents.

Using it like I did, to try and improve, but don’t crack under the pressure like I almost did

Don’t let it ruin your life, don’t let it control you, and don’t let it tell you who to be.

Do keep your head up, don’t let up.